Monday, August 31, 2009

Heat rises, 8/31/09

Don't get me wrong, I like the sun
As much as you -- or anyone
But when it gets this hot
It sucks when you've not
Got working AC on floor 1.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Station Fire, 8/30/09

The fires still rage to the east
Devouring hills like a beast
Making skies choke
As they belch forth their smoke
And wonder when we'll see relief.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for three. 8/29/09

Sunscreen, sweat, grease, and some grit
I'm pretty much covered in it
Back in the house
Post two days with the Mouse™
And mostly the trip was a hit.

If we could just get Zachary in
The Pirates of the Carribean
We'd all sing "yo ho"
But he just won't go
So we just took little Natesy in.

Friday, August 28, 2009

With great power ought to come better clothing. 8/28/09

Your t-shirt proclaims "Old Guys Rule"
But you kind of look like a tool
Leading me to believe
That your potency
Depends on me being a fool.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

A day at the beach is like a day at the beach, 8/27/09

No kids and a day at the beach
Was not a concept within reach
Or so I believed
Because today we
Had just that -- and man, was it sweet.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Boondoggle 8/26/09

Analysts, based in DC
Working on security
And battling terror
May have made an error
'Cause a panelist next month is... me.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Rockdog, 8/25/09

Tibetan dog goes to Beijing
Becomes rock star (I guess he can sing)
The story is thin
But, hey, count me in
If they're paying, well hell that's something.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Allergies Begone! 8/24/09

At last now they say he is free,
Pronounced past his vast allergies
And won't have to beg
For a grape or an egg
Unless he relapses. We'll see.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Striped Back, 8/23/09

Make sure that you sunscreen the whole
Of your back, at the beach or else you'll
End up looking like me,
Sort of red and white streaked
Like a magically live barber pole.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Killing them softly, 8/22/09

The party: anniversary.
The years since they wed: 43.
The tribute: in song.
The words: not all wrong.
The method: bad karaoke.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Deceived by the sun, 8/21/09

The morning so clear, everyone
Agreed that the beach would fun
So our plans all got changed
And we went. And it rained.
The moral: you can't trust the sun.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Surf City, 8/19/09

"It will be fun" I was assured
And a four year-old won't be ignored
So together we
Waded into the sea
To go surfing... and I was the board.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Going #1 while holding son #2, 8/18/09

When "up!" is a constant demand
And you find yourself undermanned
You learn rapidly
That you can go pee
And wash up with only one hand.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Brothers in Arms

"He hit me" comes oft the refrain
But the truth is that there is no pain
Except in my hiney
From you being whiny
So zip it till someone's been maimed.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

My boys, 8/16/09

When people, on meeting my sons
Ask me and my wife "are you done?"
I say "yes, we are,"
And today in the car
I would've been prior to one.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Road Trip, 8/15/09

On the cusp of our trip to Del Mar
Despite that it's not very far
We've got so much shit
I'm concerned it won't fit
When tomorrow we pack up the car.

Friday, August 14, 2009

It's draining, it's boring. 8/14/09

Corporate accounting is fun!
If, I suppose you're someone
Who likes to dissect
Every receipt and check
And can't see any use for the sun.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

And that's a wrap? 8/13/09

The producer was ready to spill
All the details -- right up until
You wandered our way
Causing him not to say
Anything. You, I'm ready to kill.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Shots? 8/12/09

At the alcohol store with my son
I had to explain there are some
Who apparently feel a
Bottle of tequila
Should come in the shape of a gun

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Head Games, 8/11/09

My brain filled with meaningless babel
As tiles turn in it, the rabble
Keeps me in confusion
And thus the conclusion
That I am addicted to Scrabble.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Bookkeeping, 8/10/09

For months I've not had the heart
To even look once at the chart
Of our savings, receded
And I don't think I'm about to start.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Rolling the dice, 8/9/09

The gas back on in our abode
Allows us the washing to load
And cook and take showers
For hours and hours
Assuming that we don't explode.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Out of gas, 8/8/09

No oven or water that's hot
Stove, furnace, A/C, 'cause we've got
No gas to the house
So we'll do without
Cleaning ourselves till we rot.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Hollywood. 8/7/09

We went and we pitched the movie
And now simply have to wait and see
If we'll write the script
Or if we're just stripped
Of the ideas we had, like they were free.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Night, 8/6/09

At the end of the day, at the hour
The sun drops and shadows devour
Its withdrawing rays,
It at last breaks its gaze
Giving in to the night's waxing power.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Nickled and Dimed, 8/5/09

When you've a posse you pay,
Agent, manager, WGA
Lawyer and IRS
CPA... it's a mess
And what's left at the end of the day?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Sticky, 8/4/09

Disneyland's quite a fine time
If you don't have to wait in the lines
And, after several hours
Back at home in the shower
You're able to wash off the grime.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Gas Man Cometh, 8/3/09

The smell was familiar. The kind
You'd prefer not to wake up and find
Turned out to be gas
Which explains the blast
That blew up your house and your mind.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

For Personal Use Only, 8/2/09

The movies that I want to see
Are had locally for no fee
The library provides 'em
And I digitize 'em
Right on to my Apple TV.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Saturday afternoon, 8/1/09

Nice to have friends with a pool
And a house that is totally cool
If only the boys
Wouldn't make so much noise
I'd feel like less of a tool.