Saturday, September 5, 2015

Posts below are from 

"My Life As A Doggerel"

A blog of limericks I wrote each day the year I turned 40.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Farewell. 12/18/10



To ashes, and once more to dust
We consecrate you, here entrust
You to unending sea
And to eternity
Swallow hard.  Soldier on.  As we must.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Eve of destruction, 12/8/09

Tomorrow I turn 41.
What to do once these limericks are done?
Will my idle hands seek
Out some evil unspeak-
able once this new freedom's begun?

Monday, December 7, 2009

Roy G. Biv, 12/7/09

In the night, the rain comes, the winds blow
Inundating the earth down below
But soon, sun ascends
And slowly it ends
As across the sky spreads the rainbow.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Croupier and croupier, 12/6/09

I mostly don't mind the poop.
Though the vomit's thrown me for a loop.
It's the hoarse, barking cough
That at night throws me off
As I fear the poor kid's caught the croup.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Tardy, 12/5/09

My apologies for being late
With the limericks I'm supposed to create
But please take consolation
In this explanation:
Some of them just aren't worth the wait.

Friday, December 4, 2009

This Limerick Has Been Delayed, 12/4/09

This limerick has been delayed
For almost a week now, today
I ran out of time
So now, here's the rhyme
Which I think mostly came out okay.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I've seen your true colors, 12/3/09

Irrespective, Nate, of what you think
And despite the bright hue of your drink
There's likely no chance
What you made in your pants
Will ever come out colored pink.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Such a waist, 12/02/09

In a writers' room one does a dance
With the unhealthy snacks that advance
On your willpower, waning
Till you're left explaining
Why you now wear expandable pants.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Are two jobs better than one? 12/1/09

That sick sinking feeling I've got
In my stomach's a Gordian Knot
As I pile on to
The work I've got to do
Which unfortunately's quite a lot.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Off Site, 11/30/09

If you've the need to prepare a
Script, but you've got nowhere to
Set your laptop
Then you go set up shop
At a Starbucks. Or maybe Panera.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Divide and conquer, 11/29/09

If only I could break in two
I'd be able to do what I do
More effectively
Come to think of it three's
What I'd like to be broken into.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Three to Five, 11/28/09

Where have you gone, Zachary?
I remember, before you turned three
You were smiley and smart
And you filled up my heart
But now you just seem so angry.

Friday, November 27, 2009

When in San Diego, 11/27/09

We could have gone to Legoland
Or swimming and played in the sand
Or gone to see Shamu
Or the park or the zoo
But we didn't. Hope you understand.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving, 11/26/09

The family fights over seating
The football, Detroit's chances fleeting
The Macy's Parade
Casseroles all displayed
And now let us give thanks by eating.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Road Trip, 11/25/09

When two boys are placed in the back
Of a car, going far, and you lack
The ability to
Play a DVD you
Might as well just tell them to attack.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Two Jobs Aren't Better Than One, 11/24/09

If this movie's story won't break
This job may have been a mistake
'Cause all day and all night's
More than I want to write
And there's only so much I can take.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Rock and Roil, 11/23/09

I wonder if I had a daughter
I'd be less hot under the collar
'Cause I swear I'll snap if
He keeps singing that riff
That begins the song "Smoke On The Water."

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Zach's Fifth Birthday, 11/22/09

A rock and roll party pastiche
With a buffet of pizza and quiche
As we blast "Back in Black"
And the children attack
Us like thirty-two freaks on a leash.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Beat (Cal), 11/21/09

The more things change, they stay the same
Said someone (can't recall the name).
And having just watched
Stanford's victory botched
That someone may have meant Big Game.

Friday, November 20, 2009

A/B, See? 11/20/09

"I'm going to work" he explained
The shirt he'd put on that day
"Well you look to me
Quite like a worker bee"
"Actually, Dad, he said, "worker A."

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Do Not Disturb, 11/19/09

All I want is to complete
One night of eight hours sleep
Without a kid yelling
Without a dog smelling
Without a cat biting my feet.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Swell Season, Lousy Upholstry, 11/18/09

On a seat at the Wiltern, I sit
Springs stabbing me through fabric's split
It's a good thing the show
Really rocks, 'cause you know
I'm getting too old for this shit.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Delizioso! 11/17/09

Nothing, it seems, is a treat.
You cook stuff for kids who don't eat.
And they hardly care
Until you prepare
Spaghetti and balls made of meat.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sometimes, 11/16/09

Sometimes things get lost in the mail.
Sometimes you try to no avail.
Sometimes you could choke
Sometimes life's such a joke
And sometimes there's no end to its tale.