The Modern Curmudgeon

If you're at work and make a pass At a co-worker, you have harassed Them sexually So please don't say to me "Morning, Jon. How are you? Love the ass."

When applying your son to grade K You must be certain to say That though he's just four He really much more Than contained on his short resumé.

My wife's sniffling and coughing, too. And so I know what I must do: Lock us all indoors Until that I'm sure That we don't have the swine flu.

If I lived in Mexico, I Might be wondering ¿Why, Dios, Why? El Swine Flu, El Quake, What did we do to make You so wrathful at us?  Ay yi yi.

Each year it all starts so merrily (Though we leave feeling guilty and warily) Then once it's begun We forget, for our fun Too soon must end, anniversarily. Sent from my iPhone

The tradition once more goes on Though I'm wondering, is it wrong To commemorate Our wedding date Simply by sleeping past dawn? Sent from my iPhone

I am ready for the massage. The sleep and the badinage. I know what I need And with speed I'll proceed. Yes, it's time to cut to the Montage.