The Modern Curmudgeon

"Reader K's call to Dell tech support for his laptop resulted in the tech helping him break a different computer, then sending him a replacement laptop full of  human pubic hair . After diagnosing a faulty power adapter with K's laptop, the Dell technician asked him to plug the malfunctioning adapter into his other, out-of-warranty Dell to confirm the problem. K was reluctant, but complied, and fried his old laptop in the process. To their credit, Dell offered a replacement; unfortunately, it had a full bush." Other theories I have include the laptop reaching puberty and the laptop being used sort of appropriately (on someone's lap) and sort of not (they were naked at the time). Full story here .

Damen und Herren, we give you... The Cheeseburger In A Can! This, apparently, is for hikers -- hikers whose goal is apparently to counteract whatever health benefits hiking actually gives them. If you're desperate, you can buy it here .  Or, in English, here .

According to a recent survey in Gourmet magazine, more than 80% of the time  râpe â fromage is committed by someone the cheese knows.

Okay, I warned you that not all posts here come straight from the "profound" pile (okay, actually maybe none of them has, now that I think about it)... but here's the thing, and I'm going to give you the short version: Malt vinegar is really good on french fries.   The British have known this for ages (as have I, as my Mother is British).  So, if you knew this (or if you're British), you may stop reading now.  Thanks for letting me waste your time. I only publish this because my wife -- who has been alive for over three decades -- only just learned this the other day.   How did I not tell her this?  It's been ten years since we first met.  I'm fairly certain that's thousands  of french fry opportunities I -- and therefore she -- squandered.  I feel so negligent. So, I'm taking it upon myself (you can thank me later) to spread the word.   You know, just in case.

Today on the radio the program was being sponsored in part by the National Association of Professional Organizers.  Which, I was told, could be found online at www-dot-N-A-P-O-dot... And in my head I went "org" -- because when your association is professional organizers, then .org is just obvious, right? Nope. It's www.napo.net Okay, so who organized that? At www.napo.com, incidentally, you can find the National Association of Pizzeria Operators.  Which makes me wonder how many people start out thinking, "I really need to get organized" then go type www.napo.com -- and end up going, "screw organizing -- I'm gonna order a pizza."

Daniel Day Lewis is truly an amazing actor. From the moment you see the poster for "There Will Be Blood", you'll swear he is Tom Selleck.