The Modern Curmudgeon

Today on the radio the program was being sponsored in part by the National Association of Professional Organizers.  Which, I was told, could be found online at www-dot-N-A-P-O-dot... And in my head I went "org" -- because when your association is professional organizers, then .org is just obvious, right? Nope. It's www.napo.net Okay, so who organized that? At www.napo.com, incidentally, you can find the National Association of Pizzeria Operators.  Which makes me wonder how many people start out thinking, "I really need to get organized" then go type www.napo.com -- and end up going, "screw organizing -- I'm gonna order a pizza."

Daniel Day Lewis is truly an amazing actor. From the moment you see the poster for "There Will Be Blood", you'll swear he is Tom Selleck.

As this strike goes on, we frequently confront the “marketplace” argument against us. Roughly, it goes something like this: “if writers think they deserve more, then they should just write better scripts, for which the marketplace – studios and networks – will pay them more.” Let me tell you a little story about how it doesn’t work that way. In 1990 I was barely out of college and already I’d had more luck in Hollywood than many people have their whole lives.    I was working as an assistant at Paramount, for a production company called Triangle.    Now, as you know from high school geometry, triangles have three vertices.    In the case of Triangle Entertainment, one of those vertices was Paramount, one of them was Bob Broder, and the final vertex was the successful little writing/directing team of Glen Charles, Les Charles, and Jim Burrows. By 1992 I had an agent.    I was taking meetings.    I was on my way.    It was an auspicious start. One of my meetings was at MTV ( a tiny littl...

One day, we'll all get our TV this way:   Pioneer, the manufacturer, says: Once you have subscribed to a channel on SyncTV, you can download as many current and classic TV shows from that channel as you want, with many of the TV shows including every episode of every season. Our choice of channels is 'a la carte' so you only need to subscribe to the channels you love and let the entertainment begin! And then  you know what would begin?   The studios would claim they didn't owe the writers, actors, or directors any residuals on these shows, because they're not being broadcast, they're downloads -- being delivered over the Internet.  And if the studios don't have an contract with the WGA that requires them to pay for programs delivered over the Internet, what do you think they'll do? And that's why we're still on strike.  

Strangest thing happened today. Okay, maybe not that strange, given that our precious little privileged subset of Venice is surrounded by territory that's largely considered gang territory, but still -- strange for me. I stopped a burglary. Not a big burglary. There were no jewels or cars or government secrets involved. It was a bike. My wife's bike, actually, a gift I'd given her a few years back. A cool pink beach cruiser that sits near the opening of our garage -- a garage which, as a rule is always closed unless we're actually going in or out of it. Except for today. The kids were napping, and as the garage sits directly below our 3 year-old's room, my wife opted to leave it open until she went out to the market, as the opening/closing of the garage door can be a little noisy. She actually said to me, "it's okay, right -- it's probably safe, don't you think?" And my answer was yes. Because our neighborhood is safe. Our neighbors lea...

Executives, whom lately we have ankled: What occupies you now, in your desk chairs? Does your telephone’s vile silence have you rankled? Are you experts now at minesweeper, solitaire? And have you, like I, begun even to miss The meetings we both knew were wasted breath? Where drunk on free Crystal Geyser I would kiss Your ass and say to you, “I love ‘Til Death!” We trudge in circles now, perchance we think Of pilots we could pen, screenplays to spec. Then we dismiss them and go look up Nikki Finke On our iPhones… no new news… and on we trek. Were I to pitch this quarrel as a TV show I’d say, “think 30 Rock meets The Sopranos .” by Jon Sherman (with apologies to Nicholas Weinstock )

I'm pleased and proud to inform you that Zach was the "Grand Prize Winner" in the Modern Mom "Kids Who Rock" video contest. Thanks to everyone who voted, and here's his winning entry: