Damn it. I looked at my wrist My watch telling me that I'd missed My daily deadline To record things in rhyme. Yet I've no time to be ful of wist. After all, for all things there's a first Time. And it's not the worst Thing that's come to pass That a day has elapsed And I didn't observe it in verse.
Midnight, somewhere in New York I think somewhere close to North Fork I've been kidnapped by the Cruelest mistress, TV And she feeds me dry, overcooked pork.
Happy birthday to you, Maggie Sherman You deserve it -- and so I'm determined To make your bon anniversaire Le meillure , ma chère (Or die besten geburtstag , in German).
Keeping a secret is tough When you're four and just learning to bluff So I felt some small pride When my son white-lied "Just talking about trucks and stuff."
Today we found ourselves cramming In two parties while faintly damning The luck of distraction And pool party action As we spent the whole day enjambing.
At some point I'd like to stop thinking And go home and get to the drinking For attenuating Too much cogitating For my brain that is rapidly shrinking.
I'm starting to find it concerning Though an income is nice to be earning That this candle of mine Is lit most of the time And that more than just two ends are burning.
Why do they call them weekends When the work that you do just extends From Friday to Monday Without even one day To just have a drink with some friends?
I know that they're paying me money But still their wrongheadedness stuns me And so despite the note I will keep what I wrote And not make it any less funny.
"Happy Mother's Day!" was the refrain Heard over and over again As we never stopped And the corks popped and popped. How'd the hell we drink that much Champagne?
The scent of a candle's delightful But if left from the day till the night you'll Regret shutting it In the powder room lit 'Cause soot-covered walls are most frightful
Toyota, Grey Goose, and Verizon Apparently all have their eyes on Our show 'cause they're paying To affect what we're saying. But they'd never ask us to put lies on... Would they?
Restaurant Enoteca Mosto I'm glad that our paths have crossed, though When only one table's Filled will you be able To make it or will you be lost-o? http://www.mostoenoteca.com/
If you leave something till the last minute You'll regret that you didn't begin it Much earlier than Your bedtime, and then The truth is your heart isn't in it. I.E. if I didn't write These verses mostly late at night I feel pretty sure Rather than sucking more They'd suck less (though the chances are slight)