Friday, July 31, 2009

Too Many Notes, 7/31/09

When expressing that thing that you thought
Try not to get too overwrought
For the more words you use
Don't explain, they confuse,
Obfuscating more often than not.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Closure, 7/30/09

No office. No pencils. No desk.
No lunch orders. Nothing is left
But to clean out the drawer
And to wonder if you're
Headed east or remaining out west.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

That's Entertainment? 7/29/09

Maybe I don't want to switch
From TV for this movie pitch
If these machinations
Are some indication
That the feature world is a bitch.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

October is the cruelest month, 7/28/09

My son tells me if I am seen
In the same costume this Halloween
That people "will fight you"
Which seems a damn sight to
Me like these people are mean.

Monday, July 27, 2009

In Case of Emergency Limerick, 7/27/09

In the event that I'm ever found bleeding,
Unconscious and possibly needing
Transfusing, don't fuss
My type is A+
Write it down -- and thanks so much for reading.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

It only took 2 1/2 years, 7/26/09

It's possible we may regret
Returning to him the drum set
That we said we would save
Until he could behave.
Which he now knows was no idle threat.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Ghetto Bird, 5/25/09

The LAPD overhead
Is enough to shake you from your bed
As they circle the sky
In search of some guy
While you speculate "somebody's dead..."

Friday, July 24, 2009

No, I'm not doing product integration, I just like the tacos, 724/09

Some people like to eat Chee-tos
While others prefer their burritos
As for me, there's no time
When I'd not get in line
For the tacos that they serve at Tito's.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Car Repair, 7/23/09

"Your lower control arms are shot
And two new tires ought to be bought.
Plus your throttle body
And torque mounts are shoddy.
I hope that's four grand that you've got."

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Zachary & The Giant Goose Egg, 7/22/09

See, that's what your eyes are for
To guide you as you cross the floor
So next time I'm hoping
You'll keep them both open
And not walk straight into a door.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

It's the little things, 7/21/09

It's almost a sure thing if you
Stay up till a quarter till two
That you can count on
Being woken pre-dawn
It's like somehow the baby just knew.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Imposter? 7/20/09

He excused himself when he was done
Stopped when he was told not to run
Said he loved his mother
Kissed and hugged his brother.
Who are you, and where is my son?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Excuses, excuses, 7/19/09

I'm dirty and greasy and tired
From the weekend that has just transpired
Trips north and trips south
Fixing things round the house...
I'm beat, and so less-than-inspired.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Traffic, 7/18/09

Santa Barbara is nice in the summer
But the traffic back home is a bummer
As you sit in the throng
Barely inching along
Behind some a-hole in a stretch Hummer.

Friday, July 17, 2009

You what? 7/17/09

Your Mother is not a robot
You can push down and break, so do not
Ever say that again
Or never is when
You'll see Disneyland; give it some thought.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Tobacco & Alcohol, 7/16/09

Dinner last night went too far.
So tonight I kept things to the bar.
The meal was urban
Consisting of bourbon
And for dessert just a cigar.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Unhandyman, 7/15/09

Someone pulled, and so caused to fall
The towel bar off of the wall
Leaving holes to repair
But the real problem here
Is I'm nowhere near handy at all.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Last Days of Season 1, 7/14/09

The whiteboards are back to their whitest
As we wade through the season's detritus
Little left to be done
On this, season one.
Our last medical case: senioritis.

Monday, July 13, 2009

I have some good news and... 7/13/09

She said "I've got news for you, honey,
And the thing is, well, this may sound funny,
The script -- it's a go
Just as long as you know
That the network has run out of money."

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Westside Tavern, 7/12/09

At long last we finally tried
The Tavern that's on the Westside
And damn, it was good
So when you're in the 'hood
I suggest you head promptly inside.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

The Sleepover, 7/11/09

It's nice to have the company
For the wife, and the kids, and for me.
I just hope that they're sleeping
Or else I'll be weeping
When I'm up at a quarter to three.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Fromage, 7/10/09

The anticipation increases
As the finish line can't help but tease us
So we eat, we rejoice
And our cuisine of choice
Is wine and way too many cheeses.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

A Royal Pain, 7/9/09

We're almost through, get out the fork
'Cause this pig's about to be pork
Done, through and through
Now as for Season 2
Just don't make me move to New York.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

123456789, 7/8/09

Today, if you looked at the time
At precisely one moment you'd find
The hour and date
Would enumerate
12:34:56 7/8/09

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

But He's Crafty, 7/7/09

It's not that I think he was reckless
And certainly wouldn't say feckless
I'm just not sure that
Our twelve year-old cat
Has all that much use for a necklace.

Monday, July 6, 2009

A 2 year-old's logic, 7/6/09

Allow me to give him a plug, it's
Like his new vocab is a drug, it's
Fun to use words
Like "dogs", "cats", or "birds"
Or "chickens" -- which he calls "chicken nuggets."

Sunday, July 5, 2009

And on the fifth, sixth, and seventh days, he rested... 7/5/09

If only all weekends were three
Days long, I think that we'd be
Much happier, healthier
And possibly wealthier
This petition's beginning with me.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

July 4, 2009

Despite all our nation's concerns
I'll say many happy returns
To the ol' USA
On this, its birthday
And hope for few firework burns.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Working for the little man, 7/3/09

For this, I can't say I've waited.
But maybe it's what we're all fated
To one day become
As today my son
Said "I'm Zachary... Incorporated."

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Before the sons go down, 7/2/09

To walk through the door and hear cries
Of "Daddy!" cut me down to size.
Because these days I creep
In the door; they're asleep
And I really miss seeing those guys.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Footstrike Anemia? 7/1/09

This anemia's really quite cunning
But this diagnosis is stunning;
The issue could very
Well be ordinary:
That once in a while I go running.